Logo
  • Major requests
  • Qualification
  • Algorithm of work
  • Contacts
  • For reading
Areas of work

Fears 

Depressive states

self-worth

Intimacy in the couple

Sexuality and intimate relationships

Non-chemical addictions

Questions of Meaning and Purpose

Difficulties in interpersonal interactions

Child-parent relationships

Proof of qualification as a psychologist
Algorithm of consultative interaction
Before counseling, ask yourself and answer the following questions honestly:

1. identifying the problem field
Determining the range of problems that need to be solved - what do I want to come to a psychologist with? What is important for me to discuss in principle? What are the issues in my life that need to be solved? What areas of my life do I want to change?


2. Specifying the request
Of the range of problems and challenges in life outlined, what is the most urgent for me that requires my intervention and my determination right now? What makes it so urgent, why does it require my attention? What will or will not happen if I don't give it my attention?
3. Clarifying Expectations
  • What results do I want to achieve, what do I want to change in the course of consulting work with the psychologist? 
  • How do I imagine the final result?
  • How do I know that this is the result I want? 

4. Clarifying expectations
  • What is stopping me from solving this situation/problem on my own? 
  • Why haven't I solved it yet? 
  • What is missing to solve it? 
  • What could help me solve it (knowledge, psychological readiness, change in life circumstances)?

5. Allocation of Responsibility
What results do I want to achieve in counseling? What do I want, what do I expect from the psychologist? How do I think he can help me? What is his role in solving my life problem? What is the purpose of my seeking counseling? Why do I go to another person for help?
6. Interaction
How do I imagine interacting with a psychologist? What is my role in our interaction? What will be required of me? What is the role of the psychologist in our interaction?
7. Result
Who will be responsible when I achieve or fail to achieve the result I need? What will I do?
Articles

What are the differences between professionals in the helping professions in the area of mental well-being?
A psychologist is a specialist with a psychological education, not related to medicine. The purpose of a psychologist's work is to provide psychological support and assistance to mentally healthy people. According to the goal, the range of problems that this specialist helps to solve is determined. As a rule, among them are various emotional, cognitive and behavioral difficulties, i.e. absolutely normal reactions of a healthy person that cause at times a state of psychological discomfort, such as repeated misunderstanding in interpersonal relations, increased anxiety before a crucial event, adaptation difficulties in a new team and others. The sphere of competence of psychologists includes interaction with people who find themselves in crisis and emergency situations associated with a risk to life. In these cases, it is possible to talk about the normal reaction of mentally healthy people to an abnormal situation. Work with such states is carried out with the help of conversation, information, suggestive methods, relaxation exercises and trainings, coaching, artistic means and creative instruments and specific methods of influence. 
The psychotherapist is a physician with a medical degree, with a primary specialization or who has completed a professional retraining course in psychotherapy. The main focus is aimed at the treatment of pathologies of the nervous system, non-serious mental disorders, neurosis and neurotic disorders, such as pathologies caused by fear and its derivatives, pathologies of willed action and psychotic conditions. The main means of exposure is psychotherapy. The psychotherapist can also apply medication, refer the client to a clinical psychologist to carry out experimental-psychological research, to doctors of other specialities, and receive physical therapy and physiotherapeutic treatment.
A psychiatrist is a physician with specialized medical training. In his work he deals with the same spectrum of disorders as the psychotherapist, but also works with severe forms of mental pathology. The main contingent is people with mental illnesses such as manic-depressive psychosis (today BAD), various types of schizophrenia, severe forms of abulia, anorexia (bulimia), delusions and other mental disorders. The psychiatrist has the right to make a medical-psychiatric diagnosis and also to use all those methods and tools that the psychotherapist uses.
Psychologist =/= phrenologist, tarologist, astrologer, parapsychologist, psychic, telepathic.
How do you evaluate the professional qualities of a psychologist?
When confronted with a difficulty in life, a person may not fully understand which plane their problem lies in, that is, which professional field they turn to in their case. This is especially true when it comes to mental well-being. Uncertainty and anxiety caused by a lack of knowledge can lead to the person not going anywhere and being left alone with their problem.
If there is a feeling and understanding that it is necessary to go to a psychologist, the question arises: "How can I choose from the huge numbers of psychologists the one who works with my problem? After all, what assurances are there that going to a particular specialist bear fruit? How do I know that a particular specialist is competent to deal with my particular situation? In short, one might ask, how on earth should I find or choose a psycologist in Moscow, or counsellor in Moscow, for instant?
Without belabouring the point, we will highlight a few basic points, which are worth paying attention to:
1) Education. Alas, as of today, in order to be eligible to provide psychological counseling services it is sufficient to pass a one-year professional retraining in the field of psychological counseling or a two-year master's program in psychology. There are cases where the role of a counseling psychologist is performed by a person without any education in the field, who completed, for example, two months of distance learning courses at a commercial organization. It may seem unbelievable, but it does happen. An education in the field of psychological consultation and psychotherapy is a lifelong professional education. At the same time, there is a general base, a basis from which the professional development of a psychologist begins. Training as a specialist (5 years) or bachelor with subsequent education in master's program (2 years) serves as this base. During this time, the yesterday's student has time to acquire and master knowledge about the basic laws and mechanisms of the human psyche, methods of study, the leading directions in the understanding of personality and its problems, methods of prevention and correction of mental disorders and illnesses, etc. Ideally, the quality of assimilation of acquired knowledge is subjected to systematic control; 
2) Having completed the training, a fully-fledged specialist is already capable of choosing one or another area of psychological counseling, depending on his/her preferences. Do not be shy to find out where, when and from whom a specialist was trained, in which direction he works. As a rule, this information can be found on the site of the psychological or medical center where the specialist works, or on his or her site on the Internet. Understanding which approach the specialist works within will help you to orient yourself as to whether your problem is in tune with the direction in which the psychologist is working;
3) If there is a psychologist in your institution where you work, feel free to ask him or her for advice in your search for a suitable specialist. If you fear possible gossip, tell him that you need his recommendation in finding a professional for a friend or relative. There is a chance that you will find the right specialist on your own, but it is lower than with a recommendation from a specialist;
4) Social, academic, or other status often plays a significant role in your decision when choosing a specialist, and this significantly affects the cost of admission, which is not always justified. A doctoral degree and/or the title of professor do not necessarily go hand in hand with professionalism, and at times are inversely proportional to one another. In such cases, it is wise to use common sense. Try to find out where the specialist works and what his or her responsibilities are. Thus, from the point of view of consulting and therapeutic efficiency, a crisis (emergency) psychologist with 5-7 years of experience, for example, at the Center of Emotional Problems of the Ministry of Emergency Situations, working directly with people on "the ground", will be many times more effective than a doctor of medical sciences, full professor, who is mainly engaged in organizational, methodological and managerial activity for 20 years or more. Of course, I won't absolutize, but in general the trend is clear. Is it worth overpaying 50%, 100%, and sometimes several thousand% of the cost of a consultation, for an illusory representation? It's up to you to decide;
5) You have developed a vigorous search activity on websites and forums of psychological subjects, have looked through a couple of hundreds of profiles of specialists, have asked several times for recommendations from acquaintances, colleagues, relatives and still you cannot make up your mind...What to do? Before you get discouraged, you can use the right, I would say, foolproof method. Its essence is obvious and painfully simple, but not for a person who finds himself in a difficult life situation. Every regional center has a leading profile institution of psychological and psychiatric type. In the federal centers, these are, first of all, the V.M. Bekhterev Research Institute of Psychiatry and Narcology in St. Petersburg, as well as the Serbsky Research Institute of Psychiatry and Narcology in St. Petersburg. The NSMI NPO named after Bekhterev in St. Petersburg, as well as the V.P. Serbsky Research Center for Psychiatry and Addiction Medicine in the Ministry of Health of Russia and the NSPC in Moscow. Contrary to popular belief, there are not only psychiatrists and psychotherapists in these institutions but also clinical psychologists who work, including with mentally healthy people. As a last resort, psychological hotlines are always available, free of charge;
6) The previous paragraphs were aimed to highlight those moments, which can help you to avoid meeting with a potentially incompetent in matters of psychological help, save your nerves, time and money. The honest answer to the question, "where are the safeguards?" in the title of the text is: none. Discussions and research on the topic of the effectiveness of psychotherapy have been going on for years. You will not be able to assess the actual competence of a specialist, if only because you do not understand the criteria for assessing it. The only marker of the effectiveness of psychotherapeutic interaction for you is the presence of changes since the first visit. It is worth noting that these changes will not always bring peace and joy to your life. This is especially true for people close to you, who may not perceive your changes the way you would like them to. 

Reliability of a psychologist
Since a psychologist is not a medical specialist, he or she has no legal right to diagnose or prescribe medication. He also does not pass on any information about the patient's condition to third parties, including relatives. These requirements and restrictions are defined by law in various forms and degrees of responsibility, up to a ban on private practice and work in the specialty. Thus one of the most common fears is that: "others will find out there's something wrong with me. Everyone will know that I'm..." -, has no basis in fact. 

"Why do I need a psychologist?" or "I solve my problems myself!"
According to a 2022 study by the World Health Organization, only 3-5% of all people experiencing psychological difficulties see a specialist. The vast majority prefer to "solve" their problems on their own. About one-third believe it is possible to share their difficulties and worries with friends and relatives. 
According to another study by the same organization, the number of anxiety and depressive disorders increased by 25% in 2021. Currently, one in eight people in our country suffers from some type of mental disorder. The dynamics of this trend are even less comforting. 
Comparing the results of these two studies, we can see that the "I can do it myself" strategy does not always work. Does this mean that work with a psychologist or psychotherapist will bring guaranteed results? Of course not. There may be a reasonable, at first glance, the question: "then why do I need to go to him?
The difference between the work of a psychologist and specialists in other professions is that when applying for and paying for services, the result largely depends on the person's own readiness and efforts to resolve the problem. 
Characteristic anecdote, where the main thought of the heroine is something like this: "I will not go to the psychologist again! This fraudster will say again for my own money that I need to take responsibility for my life! And quite often people go to a psychologist with the expectation of magical, miraculous transformations in their lives for which they do not have to make any effort. It is expected that the specialist has a unique recipe for solving life's difficulties, or that he has an extraordinary spell that will help to achieve the desired result. If the psychologist has no such tools, then perhaps he knows people who have them. 
It happens that people do not go to a psychologist for help in overcoming their current situation and circumstances, but to justify or obtain permission not to engage in this overcoming. Such people want to pay for the cost of treatment a moral indulgence which gives them the right to continue their life in a familiar, though uncomfortable vein, with a feeling of inevitability and predetermination legitimized by psychologist. 
Answering this question, it is possible to say that, first of all, the task of the psychologist is to help the person independently come to an understanding of illusory, unrealistic, dysfunctional nature of his own picture of the world or, at least, of a specific situation, which leads to what the person experiences as unpleasant, painful, too energy consuming, irritating, limiting, meaningless, destructive, etc. How does this happen?
A psychological consulting appointment is a special kind of meeting of two people in the course of which a special space or atmosphere may arise. It happens that within this space the person, maybe for the first time in his life, is met, heard, accepted by another person without prejudice, evaluation, demands, conditions and condemnation. This, in turn, allows him or her to feel more free and secure. By means of clarifying, leading, specifying questions, the psychologist together with the client clarifies the situation and makes it clear for the consultant and not so one-sided and categorical for the person. In this case, the psychologist has a dual role. On the one hand, he serves as a mirror that reflects the client's words, experiences, behavior, his typical model of relations with himself, other people and the world as a whole, which makes it possible for the latter to look at himself with a disinterested, as if distant, look. It is possible to say that with the aid of the consultant, the client gets together with himself/herself and his/her problem, clarifying together with the consultant its realism and the adequacy of his/her own actions in relation to it. 
On the other hand, with the aid of certain questions, the psychologist makes it possible for the client to see his or her life situation from a different worldview position, outside the framework of his or her attitudes, prejudices, mental patterns and constructs of thought that have been established for years or decades. As a result, a person becomes capable of posing the questions that are vitally important for him or her and need to be solved. 
Another important aspect of psychologist-client interaction is the handling of emotions and feelings. The very form of communication by the specialist becomes an unusual experience for the person who comes. The situation when one can simply be, experiencing the emotions that one has and not be shamed or ridiculed for it is perceived as something new and appealing. Through such an experience, the person begins to realize that feelings do not have an unambiguous pole, but reflect the state of his or her inner world, connected with the experience of being valued in a particular situation. It becomes clear to the client that feelings act as an indicator of how good he or she feels in the conditions in which he or she is with the opportunities he or she has.
Having dealt with the psychologist's help in his own thoughts, having seen false, dysfunctional, pseudological attitudes and beliefs and having allowed himself to live through his feelings, the person becomes capable of building more adequate and productive forms of behavior and their practical implementation. 
Thus, to summarize briefly, it is possible to say that, paradoxically, the title of the article accurately reflects the essence of work on the problem. The client really solves it. At the same time, the task of the psychologist is not to solve problems of another person, whom he or she does not know. The psychologist, using skills acquired during extensive training and experience of practical work, as well as experience of personal therapeutic practice in the role of the person who comes to him/her for help, accompanies the client on his/her way where he/she independently discovers paths, nooks and crannies, detours or, conversely, discovers straight broad routes previously concealed by thinking patterns, habits and protections.


So what are you, psychologist?
A psychologist may and can work in different domains,  such as a sphere of labor, engineering psychology and ergonomics, military psychologists, etc.Often people have either a false, distorted understanding of the purpose of psychologists, the specialty itself, the functions performed by psychologists, the knowledge, abilities and skills they possess, or they know nothing about it at all. So, there is an opinion that a psychologist is a medical specialist, the meeting with whom, in the best case, will result in a diagnosis followed by taking medication, in the worst case - forced hospitalization in a psychiatric hospital. Consequently, only lunatics come to a psychologist.
The other extreme is the perception of psychologist as an almighty wizard capable of performing unearthly miracles, communicating with the cosmos, communicating with the souls of ancestors, predicting events, reading people's thoughts and controlling their behavior at will. The psychologist in this approach is endowed with a divine essence and superhuman abilities. 
Of course, in both cases, such notions have nothing to do with the real day-to-day activity of the psychologist. 
A psychologist is a specialist with an appropriate education, having, as a rule, completed a bachelor's degree (possibly followed by a master's program) or a specialist in psychology. Some psychologists continue studying and systematically improve their qualifications throughout their lives due to the specifics of their work. It is especially relevant for private practitioners working with people of different professions and, as a result, have different worldviews, beliefs, attitudes, social and cultural prejudices, values, moral standards and moral guidelines. 
As in many other professional spheres, there are different kinds of psychologists: social psychologists, educational psychologists, psychological consultants, legal, medical (clinical), sports, crisis, neuropsychologists, psychologists
Despite differences, psychologists of various branches have a unified general theoretical scientific base that provides knowledge of the most general principles and mechanisms of mental functioning, the regularities of its emergence and development during phylogenesis and ontogenesis, the anatomy and physiology of higher nervous activity, the modern concepts of norm and pathology, the origins and causes of mental disorders and the basic methods of their prevention and correction. 
In summary, we emphasize again, the psychologist is not a doctor and does not perform his functions, that is, does not diagnose, does not prescribe and implement the tactics and plan of treatment, including medication. A psychologist is not a clairvoyant and is not endowed with the ability to penetrate matter, time and space. A psychologist is first and foremost a person, but a person specially trained and prepared to provide psychological support, accompaniment and assistance to healthy people in situations involving adaptation to new conditions, uncertainty, increased levels of physical exertion and mental stress. Metaphorically speaking, the psychologist is the one who goes along with the person, exactly as much as the person needs to solve his or her problems.
Contacts
Clinical Psychologist Alexander Panfilov

Moscow, Chapaevsky Lane, 6
8 (930) 919-56-10
counsellingpanfilov@gmail.com
Contacts
Working hours are discussed individually
Adress
Moscow, Chapaevsky Lane, 6
Phone number
+7 (930) 919-56-10

Email

counsellingpanfilov@gmail.com
HTML код
Пример стиля подзаголовка
Контент

Оформить заявку

Оформить заявку

Fear and its varieties
Fear
Fear is a seemingly paradoxical mental phenomenon. A feeling of fear signals to a person about a potential danger and, thus, warns him or her against certain actions that can lead to undesirable consequences for him or her. In some cases, the experience of fear contributes to the preservation of life.
At the same time, fear indicates something that has not yet occurred in reality. Moreover, the "terrifying consequences" of the event with which fear is associated often exist only in the person's mind. At times, imaginative plots can lead to complete inaction. It happens that in order to avoid what is fearful to face, a person gives up tempting prospects, which he so passionately desired, so long awaited. When a long-awaited opportunity "begs in his hands," the person becomes unable to accept it, to say yes.
Phobias
A person can experience an unaccountable fear that has no definite expression in any object or event. If, however, he identifies with a specific "carrier" that systematically and steadily induces feelings of fear, we can talk about the formation of a phobia.
Panic attacks
A panic attack can be described as a suddenly overwhelming feeling of terror, a fear of death, accompanied by bodily manifestations. In such situations, there is a persistent feeling - either I will leave the situation immediately (subway car, bus, plane, bank branch, etc.) or I will die.
Horror
In such situations, it is usually said: "dazed with horror," "numb with fear.
What can be done?
Clarification of what fear is directly connected to and what causes it can help in working with such feelings. It is effective to realize that fear is a feeling that exists objectively, and therefore there is no possibility of simply not thinking about it, not noticing it, suppressing it, overcoming it, conquering it. At the same time, it is possible to accept the fact of its existence. Another move is to make visible the simple fact that fear exists in man as one of its aspects, but fear is not man himself, it exists in man. From this it becomes possible to pose the question: what will he do not with fear, since nothing can be done with it, but what will he do with himself when he has fear, what will be his decisions and behavior?

The parent-child relationship
The parent-child relationship is one of the most important and complex interpersonal relationships that exists. It is a bond that is formed from the moment a child is born and can last a lifetime. This relationship has unique dynamics that are influenced by many factors, including communication, attachment styles, personal values, and cultural norms.
Communication is a critical component of the parent-child relationship. The ability to communicate constructively involves both listening and speaking. Parents who listen to their children and take the time to understand their point of view are more likely to build a strong, trusting relationship with them. On the other hand, the opposite is true, parents who are not interested in their children's interests, who disregard their feelings, desires, and opinions can make life much more difficult for their children by causing resentment and distrust not only toward themselves, but also toward others and the world at large.
In addition to communication, attachment styles play an important role in forming stable and close parent-child relationships. Attachment theory suggests that how a child becomes attached to his or her significant other (parents, grandparents) in early childhood can have long-lasting effects on his or her relationships throughout life. Children who have positive experiences of experiencing trusting and respectful relationships with adults are more likely to develop healthy relationships with others, whereas children who have not had such experiences can and are likely to have difficulty with trust and intimacy.
Personal values and beliefs can also affect parent-child relationships. For example, parents who prioritize honesty and openness may be more likely to foster relationships based on trust and sincerity. Similarly, parents who value independence may encourage their children to be independent and make their own decisions.
Cultural norms also play a role in shaping parent-child relationships. In some cultures, parents may place greater value on obedience and respect for authority (e.g., elders in the clan, village, etc.), while in other cultures parents may prioritize autonomy and independence. Understanding these cultural specificities can help parents cope with problems that arise in their relationships with their children.
The dynamics of the parent-child relationship can also affect their success. Research has shown that relationships characterized by mutual respect, support, and positive communication tend to be more satisfying and long-lasting. On the other hand, relationships characterized by conflict, criticism, and negative communication are more likely to break down over time.

Difficulties in interpersonal interactions
The psychology of interpersonal relationships involves understanding how people interact and form stable relationships with others. Communication, trust, empathy, and attachment styles have a particular influence on the quality of interpersonal relationships.
Constructive communication is a critical aspect of healthy relationships. People who are able to express their thoughts and feelings clearly and actively listen and hear others are more likely to build strong connections with others.
Trust is also an important component of interpersonal relationships. Trust involves trusting that others will act in our best interests and keep our secrets. Once lost, trust can be extremely difficult or even impossible to regain.
Empathy is another important aspect of interpersonal relationships. Empathy involves understanding and the ability and willingness to share another person's emotions. People who are able to empathize with others are more likely to form close, supportive relationships. At the same time, the ability to empathize is sometimes substituted for immersion in the person's experiences, and other people's problems or grief is experienced as one's own. With this approach, it is as if the compassionate person is caught in an emotional vortex that draws out psychic energy. In the long run, this can lead to emotional burnout and depression. To avoid this situation, it makes more sense to call for feeling with the other, not for the other.
Attachment styles also play a role in interpersonal relationships. Attachment styles refer to the ways in which people make emotional connections with others. Secure attachment styles involve feeling comfortable with intimacy and being able to rely on others for support. Insecure attachment styles, such as anxious or avoidant, can make it difficult to form close relationships.
In addition to the above factors, the psychology of interpersonal relationships also involves examining the role of personal values and beliefs in shaping how one interacts with others and the world. For example, people who prioritize honesty and openness may be more likely to form relationships based on trust and communication.
Cultural and societal norms can also influence how people form and maintain relationships. For example, some cultures place greater value on collectivism and interdependence, while others place greater value on individualism and independence. The latter, in turn, inevitably give rise to conflict situations and the difficulties and limitations associated with them, at least for one of the parties. However, it is worth noting that the presence, the factuality of the conflict does not predetermine its outcome. Conflict can be a point of growth in both intrapersonal and interpersonal relationships, when two or more parties clarify the driving forces and the nature of interaction and introduce more specificity into it, which contributes to strengthening the relationship. On the other hand, relationships characterized by conflict, criticism, and a negative style of interaction are likely to break down over time. Understanding these dynamics can help people build healthier relationships and avoid common mistakes.
In conclusion, the psychology of interpersonal relationships is a complex and multifaceted topic that involves the study of various factors such as communication, trust, empathy, attachment styles, personal values, cultural norms, and relationship dynamics. By understanding these factors, people can build stronger and more fulfilling connections with others and overcome relationship problems.

Depressive states
Depressive states can be experienced in different ways by different people. However, it is possible to identify the most common feelings experienced by a person in such a state: sadness, hopelessness, helplessness, loss of interest in activities that used to be enjoyable, difficulty concentrating and remembering, changes in appetite and sleep patterns, and thoughts of worthlessness or suicide. These feelings can determine mood and greatly affect a person's activity and quality of life.
In its most extreme form, depression is a state of pervasive, usually unrelieved sadness and apathy, which may be accompanied by a variety of physical and emotional symptoms, such as fatigue, aches and pains in various parts of the body, including "mental" pain. It is important to note that depression is a complex and multifaceted condition (illness) that can be caused by various factors, including genetics, life events, stress and somatic (body) disorders.
Depression can have a significant impact on a person's daily functioning and quality of life, and can be classified into different types depending on the severity and duration of the symptoms.
There are several types of depression, including:
1. major depressive disorder: characterized by constant feelings of sadness or loss of enjoyment of daily activities, as well as other symptoms such as changes in sleep, appetite, energy levels and concentration.
2. Persistent depressive disorder: this type of depression is characterized by a chronic low mood that lasts for at least two years, along with other symptoms such as feelings of worthlessness, difficulty making decisions, and changes in sleep and appetite.
3. Seasonal affective disorder: this type of depression is provoked by seasonal changes, usually occurring during the fall or winter months, and is characterized by feelings of lethargy, sleepiness and loss of interest in activities.
4. Bipolar disorder (or MDD): involves high amplitude mood swings with oppositely charged affective states at the edges. Thus the depressive state alternates with episodes of mania, which may include elevated or irritable moods, high levels of activity, and racing thoughts.
5. Psychotic depression: This is a severe form of depression characterized by hallucinations and delusions, as well as other symptoms such as feelings of guilt or worthlessness, changes in appetite and sleep, and difficulty concentrating.
Although depression affects each person differently, it is necessary to seek help if such feelings last for a long time and affect daily life. Treatment options may include therapy, medication, lifestyle changes such as exercise and food changes, and support from family and friends.

Пирамида Потребностей Маслоу 

The Problem of Self-Esteem or the Search for the Self
One of the most important topics in everyone's life is the process of personal becoming, that is, finding and finding or understanding oneself. At the everyday level, in conversations with colleagues and acquaintances, as well as in the messenger feed or on television, it can be traced in statements like "be yourself," "discover your true self," "believe in yourself," "remain yourself," "be true to yourself," "find yourself. 
The question arises, however, what does it mean to "be yourself"? How is it? How do I figure out who I am? How do I distinguish where my own knowledge, values, thoughts, beliefs, points of view, preferences, interests, desires, boundaries, ideas about myself and what I can be, and what is insistently brought into my life from outside, by people close to me, by culture, society, religion, advertising?
 Concretizing, it is possible to come to the following question: I live, but can I be myself? Can I be myself at home, with the people closest to me, at work, even alone with myself, in solitude, without fear of appearing weak, rude, inept, vulnerable, ignorant, frustrated, etc.? And if the answer is not obvious, how do I become myself, how do I come to myself?
From the moment of birth a child's objective source of knowledge about the world around him/her, including himself/herself, is his/her parents. It is on the basis of feedback from significant adults in early childhood that a picture of oneself, ideas of oneself, one's strengths and weaknesses, abilities and shortcomings, capabilities and limitations, moral and ethical guidelines of what is good and bad, what is right and wrong, what is true and what is false, what one should strive for and what one should avoid, and in general, does this world accept me as I am?
According to some experts, for example, one of the leading researchers-practitioners in the field of children's thinking J. Piaget, in the first years a child does not yet exist for himself, only for others, thanks to their feedback. Thus, a child, who in the course of the experiment was asked to place appliances for all children, completed the task, but did not place an appliance for himself or herself. That is, he or she did not yet differentiate him or herself as an individual child. 
S.L. Rubinstein, a Soviet psychologist, expressed this idea as follows: "Children first call themselves as others call them. That is, the child exists for himself or herself as he or she acts as an object for others. He exists for himself as an object for others. He comes to an awareness of himself through the attitude of others toward him. 
 Simply put, the way parents and significant others treat the child is very likely the way he will treat himself throughout his life, and then, very likely, his children as well. Therefore, from time to time it gets uncomfortable to watch on the playground scenes when a mother or a grandmother yells at or reprimands a cheerful child for daring to surrender to the flow of life, to embark, however unconsciously, on the exploration of their limits and possibilities. This is usually accompanied by such remarks as: "get off the chinning bar immediately, you will be killed", "don't run, you will fall", "stop yelling like a madwoman", "don't go far away, or you will get lost", "don't do this, don't do that...". 
No less tragic is the situation when a young person tries to "get involved in sports" with a father who is not athletic. Instead of setting an example, the adult (from the physiological point of view) starts to assert himself at the expense of his own child, sneering, devaluing and criticizing his efforts in every possible way. Typical for such cases are statements: "not a man, but a weakling", "you have never done anything", "at your age I have...", "you can do nothing, you are not able, you are stupid" and so on. 
It remains a mystery what kind of result these parents expect from this kind of instruction. Practically a child who is not yet capable, by virtue of the psycho-physiological characteristics of the developing organism, to reflect, to critically appraise what is going on, perceives the words of the close adult as the basic truth. If mom and dad say so, so it is. They cannot lie! As a result, perceptions of oneself as incapable, inept, not entitled, not worthy of love and respect are fixed. A belief is formed that the little person is not fit for the world as it is.
Often this strategy in family upbringing leads to such, in its extreme forms, consequences as perfectionism and narcissism. Both disorders represent different, in some ways opposite poles of the extreme non-psychotic spectrum, associated with a loss of self. It is possible to say that such a person has no formed ideas of his own personality. He does not know himself, does not even see himself. Dysfunctional, irrelevant to reality, views and attitudes of parents and other significant adults in relation to him or her remain defining the life of the already adult, seemingly established and self-sufficient person. In their adult life, such people continue to use the same tools and behaviors as they did in childhood. The paradox lies in the fact that the ways used by the person did not work even in childhood, and accordingly, obviously, they will not work in adulthood either.
A person with perfectionism is characterized by a desire in any situation, under any circumstances, to do everything "perfectly", preferably even a little bit better. The logic of action is approximately the following: "I need to do my best, to do the impossible, to be noticed, assessed, or at least not criticized. For the person himself, it may be incomprehensible, not clear. "I do my best for my husband and children, I give my best at important events at work. At the same time, I see that my efforts only make me and others feel worse. The more I try, the worse it gets. I realize, of course, that this comes from my childhood...". - says the client. When asked, "What do you do it for?" one hears: "to make them feel good, to make everyone feel good, etc." Despite the "understanding that everything comes from childhood," the internal dynamics of one's own motivation and behavior remain hidden, veiled, and displaced by a socially approved goal. No matter how hard the adult child tries, he can never live up to expectations, because achievement implies a clear goal, specific tasks to achieve it and criteria for evaluating the result, which do not exist in the mind of the devaluing or criticizing parent. Not knowing this, the child constructs the designated aspects on his or her own, inventing and trying to anticipate in advance what could satisfy the parent. By concentrating the available resources as much as possible on achieving non-existent goals, the person inevitably leaves out other, more significant aspects of his life, which promptly disappear from the horizon of life. As a result, the goals are not achieved, and what could have filled life with joy and meaning has been neglected and seems to be irrevocably lost. A person comes to the realization that for 20, 30, 40 years he has not considered his interests, needs, values, postponing his own life and exhausting himself in the name of it is not clear. Such an understanding in itself can become a heavy blow to the very core of the personality, exposing an underlying gaping wound, and bringing a nagging spiritual pain from the realization that the lost time cannot be returned.
Another pole associated with the lack of a sense of self-worth is the phenomenon of narcissism. Such people tend to appear arrogant, condescending, insensitive, and insensitive to the needs of others. They are constantly in search of confirmation of the singularity of their "divine person," because without it they either feel their own "nothingness" or are in principle unable to feel themselves. "Narcissistic suffering is an empty loneliness, an inner deafness, a frightening loss of self - a loss of one's inner self. The reason for this "loss" is the lack or distortion of contact between child and adult, when there is an atmosphere of permissiveness and adoration of the child in the family. Absence of constructive criticism from, first of all, significant others, leads to the fact that the child does not get knowledge of psychological boundaries, both own and others', and consequently does not understand what is permissible and what is not. Since there are no internal reference points for evaluating what is significant, correct, necessary and acceptable, self-identification with external objects, fashionable trends, etc., takes place. Social status and material position come to the fore as fundamental or even semantic aspects of contemporary human life in capitalist society. People and things take on the meaning of self-representatives, reflecting one's position in the social hierarchy. Work, team, profession, education, fitness club, acquaintances and personal contacts, place of rest, district of residence, visited restaurants, car, clothes, accessories, in a word everything that surrounds a person is perceived not in itself, but as an attribute designed to denote the significance, the extraordinary place of a narcissistic person. Her partner and children are also perceived not as such, but as external identifiers, functions. The spouses of such people are selected on the principle of either a housewife to provide for the household, or a sign that can be successfully displayed on occasion (for example, if the spouse is a beautiful person, has serious successes and achievements in life). The same is true of children - a child as a project. Such a purely utilitarian attitude toward the world and people is connected with the fact that a person with narcissistic disorder "does not feel his own value, so he does not feel the value of the other, does not have his inner, so he is unable to notice the other's intimacy and easily oversteps him.
The mirror image of the "family favorite" is the child left at the mercy of governesses or given to a private, expensive boarding school. Such children are often unwanted and therefore unloved. Their birth is perceived by their parents rather as a necessary evil, a byproduct of "proper secular family life. Psychologically, they are disposed of immediately after birth, placed in the hands of nannies and then in private schools. Life, which from the outside may seem like a fabulous gift of fate, is experienced by the child himself as a heavy personal tragedy. Unlimited material goods, the satisfaction of every physiological need or whim, endless gifts are in reality a payment, a payoff for the values of human life that their parents refused or were unable to give to their child. A deep, rooted in a little person's heart from an early age, the pain of rejection, rejection of the whole world, the feeling of abandonment and own uselessness, leads to an unquenchable thirst, a boundless need for love, which a person, sometimes throughout his entire life, tries to quench to no avail. Other people only act as potential donors, whose emotions, feelings and vitality are not able to nourish the needy person's devastated self-value. No matter how much care, warmth, affection and tenderness, pleasant words are given by the person close to the narcissist, no matter how many selfless, selfless actions he performs for him, no matter how much attention he surrounds him with, he will always lack. "The narcissist only wants him." And this is not an accusation, but regret and human sympathy. He does not know what he can value in himself. Because the inner content of the "I" is absent, he seeks himself in correlation with others, in which he must constantly receive confirmation of his significance, of his value. That is why it is extremely difficult, sometimes unbearable to be in contact with such a person. He occupies all the space in which he is, it can only be about him, about his outstanding abilities, incredible successes, great achievements and it does not matter that they can only be such in his mind. Next to such a person feels that you yourself, as if you do not exist, because your opinion is not interested. You may feel as if they are trying to use you right now, and after the conversation there is usually a distinct feeling of collapse and an unwillingness to meet the person again.
In counseling practice, there are several views on how to work with such clients. Some experts believe that since such people are neglected in the psychological sense of the word, who have not received the necessary experience of interaction and timely adequate feedback from significant adults, it is necessary, with the aid of special techniques, to return them to the age when the deficit condition was formed and to grow psychologically up to their biological age, having gone through the necessary stages of psychological development together with them during the counseling process.
The other point of view assumes the possibility of forming self-value within the ecological framework of joint work between the therapist and the client, due to adequate, respectful, fair, supportive feedback. Certainly, the variability of approaches is comparable with the number of basic psychotherapeutic directions. 




Issues of Meaning and Purpose
Meaning and purpose are fundamental aspects of human life, and when people experience a lack of them, it can lead to various psychological problems. Typically, issues of meaning and purpose arise in connection with experiencing feelings of emptiness, boredom and dissatisfaction. These feelings can lead to depression, anxiety, and other psychological problems. In addition, people who lack a sense of meaning may have difficulty motivating and setting goals. Without a clear sense of direction, it can be difficult to consciously set and achieve goals that are meaningful to the person, which can contribute to experiences of frustration and despair. The Viennese psychiatrist Viktor Frankl defined a set of such experiences with the term "existential vacuum" - a feeling of inner emptiness that does not correlate with material wealth, social status, gender, age, etc.
There are several different psychological problems that can arise in response to a person's lack of meaning.
Depression is one such problem, closely related to meaninglessness. People who feel that their lives are devoid of meaning or purpose begin to feel hopeless, lost, or empty sooner or later. They may experience a lack of motivation, a lack of interest in activities they once enjoyed, and feel that some activity or activity simply has no meaning.
Anxiety can also be associated with a lack of meaning or purpose. People may feel overwhelmed by the uncertainty of their future and struggle to find meaning in their lives, which contributes to chronic anxiety and stress.
In addition, people may use addictive behaviors in the hope of escaping the oppressive sense of meaninglessness. They may turn to drugs, alcohol or other dysfunctional and destructive behaviors as a temporary escape from feelings of meaninglessness, which can further exacerbate their psychological problems.
In general, a lack of meaning or purpose in life can have a significant impact on a person's psychological well-being and lead to a range of psychological problems. It is important for people to find ways to cultivate a sense of meaningfulness in their own life, its direction and expediency, its significance and inclusion in some system of interconnectedness, in the context of something larger than themselves.
There are several techniques through which it is possible to come closer to finding meaning in one's life. One of them is to identify one's values and beliefs and align them with activities and goals that reflect these values ("I like to do this"). For example, if a person values helping others, he or she might find meaning in volunteering or working in a profession in the helping professions.
Another approach is to engage in activities that provide a sense of satisfaction and mastery. This might include a hobby or skill that the person enjoys and working to improve in that area (I can, I'm good at it).
Spirituality and religion can also give a person a sense of meaning and purpose. Many people find solace and guidance in their faith and religious practices that can help them cope with life's challenges and find a sense of purpose in serving a higher power or community (belonging to something grander and being one with it).
Finally, finding meaningful relationships and connections with others can also help to create meaning and fulfillment. Building strong relationships with family, friends, and community members can give a person a sense of belonging and purpose.
Overall, the search for meaning and purpose in life is a complex process that requires introspection, research, and experimentation.

Sexuality and intimate relationships
Sexuality and intimate relationships are complex and multifaceted aspects of human behavior and life in general, influenced by a wide range of psychological factors.
The first factor that affects a person's sexuality is gender. Gender differences have a strong influence on sexual behavior and attitudes. Men and women have different biological structures, and this leads to differences in their attitudes toward sex. Men tend to have stronger sexual attraction and are more likely to engage in casual sex, while women are more selective and cautious in their choice of partners.
Another factor that affects sexuality is culture. Society's cultural norms and beliefs strongly influence people's attitudes toward sex and intimate relationships. Social customs and religious beliefs, cultural traditions and societal expectations can and do influence people's attitudes toward sexuality.
One of the most important psychological factors influencing sexuality is a person's attitudes. Attitudes refer to deeply held beliefs about what is important in life. In turn, they determine our attitude to anything and contribute to the manifestation of a particular behavior. For example, someone who values individuality and freedom is likely to take a liberal approach to sexual behavior, while someone who values traditional values and morals may have more conservative views.
Another key psychological factor influencing sexuality is personality as a set of individual-characterological traits, characteristics and qualities. Personality traits such as openness, extraversion and neuroticism can influence sexual behavior. For example, people with high levels of openness tend to have a more free-spirited, adventurous attitude toward sex, while people with high levels of neuroticism may experience anxiety and insecurity during sexual intercourse.
A personality-related factor is attachment styles. Attachment styles are patterns of emotional and behavioral responses that people use to form and maintain relationships. There are four basic attachment styles: secure, anxious-caring, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. Each attachment style has unique characteristics that affect sexual relationships. For example, people with a secure attachment style tend to feel comfortable and confident in intimate relationships, whereas people with an avoidant attachment style may have difficulty with commitment and intimacy.
Another important psychological factor affecting sexuality is sexual orientation. Sexual orientation refers to a person's sustained emotional desire and sexual attraction to others. Sexual orientation can have a significant impact on sexual behavior and relationships. For example, people who identify as gay or lesbian may face social stigma and discrimination, which can affect their sexual behavior and attitudes toward sexual interaction.
Finally, social and psychological factors such as communication and emotional intimacy are critical to the stability and harmony of intimate relationships. Communication is the key to building and maintaining healthy relationships, and emotional intimacy is the basis for deep connection and trust between partners.
In conclusion, sexuality and intimate relationships are complex aspects of human behavior that are shaped by a wide range of psychological factors. These factors include gender, culture, personal values, attitudes, beliefs, prejudices, past experiences, the nature of family upbringing, socio-cultural patterns of personality formation, attachment style, sexual orientation and communication. Understanding and addressing these factors is essential to building healthy, fulfilling relationships and ensuring psychological well-being in general and sexual well-being in particular.

Non-chemical addictions
Non-chemical addictions are behaviors or activities that cause people to become addicted without the use of drugs, alcohol, or other psychoactive substances. In this context, addictive behaviors can include gambling, shopping, using the Internet and social media, exercise, sex, eating, and even work. Repetition of these activities can cause changes in the brain that lead to addictive behaviors and negatively impact a person's life and relationships. These types of addictions can lead to consequences as serious as drug or alcohol addiction, and may require not only psychotherapy but also psychiatric treatment to overcome them.
Other examples of non-chemical addictions include addiction to video games, excessive TV or you tube watching, addiction to pornography and, even hoarding. These behaviors can become compulsive (not dependent on an awareness of the harmfulness or pointlessness of the actions being taken) and out of a person's control, rendering him or her unable to control his or her spontaneous impulses toward the object of the addiction. Some signs of non-chemical addiction include an excessive amount of time spent on an activity, to the point of neglecting other important responsibilities (sleeping, eating, maintaining hygiene), and feeling anxious or agitated when one is not engaged in a certain activity. Although there are no physiological changes, non-chemical addictions are difficult to overcome without help, and both individual counseling and group work may be needed to successfully overcome them.
Non-chemical addictions can have many negative consequences, including financial problems, relationship difficulties, physical impairment, and mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. For example, excessive gambling addiction can lead to debt and financial ruin, and Internet addiction can cause social isolation and negatively impact mental health. Substance addiction and non-chemical addictions can often co-occur, so people with a history of addiction may be more likely to develop other addictive behaviors.
Treating non-chemical addictions involves more of a psychotherapy interaction. Overall, early intervention and treatment is the key to successfully overcoming non-chemical addictions and preventing long-term negative consequences.

Постановка осознанных целей

Цели – это фундаментальный элемент в жизненной позиции человека и достижения удовлетворенности от жизни. Если человек отчетливо не осознает свои цели внутри своего жизненного, в т.ч. рабочего процесса, он не сможет быть мотивированным и достигать желаемого результата с минимальным использованием ресурсов, т.е. будет недостаточно эффективным.

Концепция постановки цели - "Цель В ТИРАЖ"

Чтобы цель была «хорошей», она должна соответствовать модели "В ТИРАЖ"


Время -  Когда?  Установление срока на достижение цели будет являться дополнительным мотиватором для клиента. И понимание того, что конкретно это нужно к установленному сроку позволит формировать соответствующий образ мышления и фокусироваться на выполнении приоритетной задачи.

Точная - Точно сформулирована и записана, изображена, проработана в словесной формулировке.

Измеримая - Как ты поймешь что цель достигнута? Для оценки цели должно быть возможным установить конкретный критерий для измерения прогресса. Иначе не удастся контролировать процесс продвижения к цели и достижение результата

Реальная - Ваша цель должна пройти проверку на здравый смысл, возможно ли ее реализовать в существующей ситуации. 

Актуальная - важность результата в момент достижения цели. Почему данную цель необходимо достичь?
Желанная - Цель должна быть значимой для клиента и важной для достижения общего успеха.

ТИР (Точность+Измеримость+Реальность) - концентрирует Ваше внимание на на объекте цели и ставит перед Вами задачу поиска необходимых знаний, навыков и ресурсов для ее достижения.


РАЖ (Реальность+Актуальность+Желанность) - будоражит и дает необходимый стимул, мотивирует и поддерживает по пути к цели.

Спасибо

Ваш заявка принята.

Мы свяжемся с вами в ближайшее время.

Спасибо за доверие

Я свяжусь с вами в ближайшее время.

Ваша цель
Стройность
Мышечная масса
Растяжка
Здоровая осанка
Выберите тренера
Ирина
Мария
Пётр
Выберите тренера
Максим
Александр
Алина
Выберите тренера
Екатерина
Дмитрий
Ваш уровень подготовки
Укажите ваш:
Страдаете ли вы хроническими заболеваниями
Уточните, какими хроническими заболеваниями вы страдаете, чтобы мы могли составить для вас оптимальную программу тренировок
Выберите ваш город
Выберите адрес
Выберите адрес
Выберите адрес
Укажите ваши контактные данные
Отправка формы
Подтвердите, что вы не робот
или нажмите Enter
Загрузка...